Aug
7
No Frills, All Perks Weddings
Filed Under Social Issues
Hello girl, getting married? The pink of your cheeks and the never ending smile gives it away. Congratulations!! Planned a honeymoon? Great.
Don’t forget to book one for your parents too!!
Err…what was the last part? Honeymoon for the parents? Who is getting married here? You are, all right. But after nurturing you for a couple of decades and a bit, they need a break too. More than you do in many ways. So you agree, right? That’s a start. But there is a catch.
No Frills…
They can go on a honeymoon only if they have a healthy bank balance. This is a non-issue if you come from a family not knowing what to do with their money. Otherwise, chances are, your folks will not be left with much for any luxury after marrying you off, in style. Roughly translated, style means gifts for all and sundry, including for even long lost aunts and cousins of the groom; organizing feasts for hundreds; paying for the marrying couple’s jewelry, watches and wardrobes including expensive wedding day clothes to be worn once in the lifetime; all the decorations; and more and more, all going into the making of the Great Indian Wedding.
Don’t look dejected, no one is being a party pooper here. This is not about giving you a discourse on the merits of a simple, inexpensive wedding with no frills. But pause for a moment and think of the money spent by Indian families on such occasions, sums usually accounting for a high proportion of their savings and assets. All for a few days, and nights, of song and dance and pleasing extended families with gifts. Imagine all the money saved. What could it get you?
…All Perks
It can get you a whole bunch of perks. Your parents’ second honeymoon, for starters. No, there is no suggestion they will tag with you; they can go east if you are headed west, or north if you take a plunge down south. Use it to buy a car for yourself, instead of braving it on a two-wheeler on Indian roads. Make a down payment for a house, and feel like a prince and princess in your own castle straight after marriage. Send your boss a resignation letter instead of a wedding card and start your own business with the money if you have some enterprising genes. Invest in securities. Or simply let your parents keep it for a more comfortable and secure life in their later years.
Let simple be the new ‘in’
As fashion cycles come and go, dressing down is sometimes the new ‘in.’ So why not a simple wedding? Make a statement; be different. Break away from the madding crowd. Make the big day of your life simple and sweet. Let it be known it is only for a select few; the ‘few’ is relative (no pun intended here). Where is the need for inviting the to-be-mom in law’s cousin’s khandaan, twice removed? Let there be a jostle for the elusive invite. Have a ‘We will not give away gifts to relatives, nor will we accept any’ policy. Instead of having zillions of marigolds decorated on a huge pandal for the baraat, you can now afford the fewer yet more beautiful lilies around. Don’t spread it over days; make it all in a day’s work.
Tell your world simple is the new ‘in.’ Again, define for yourself what simple is in your situation. The above are just to illustrate the point.
Is your guy the man he should be?
If he is, then let him explain the ‘no-frills, all-perks’ wedding to his family. And get them to split all bills; why should it be the bride’s old man’s burden only? And get them around to accepting it. If it means throwing in a honeymoon for them too as a carrot, let them have it. They should buy into the idea not temporarily, but for good. Are they being impossible nuts to crack? Let your guy make his choices then and there. Be a momma’s boy, or be his lady’s man. As the elders would say, doodh ka doodh, paani ka paani.
Get the drift? So, how many honeymoon suites will you be booking when you get married?
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3 Responses to “No Frills, All Perks Weddings”
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Very aptly put. The amount of money spent on marriages, esp. in north india is enormous. Some simplicity still exists in central and southern indian marriages, but people in those parts too are slowly turning towards showing off.
Worth mentioning here is the decision by the Delhi SGPC to put a religious ban on those lavish punjabi weddings and receptions to ease the burden bore by the bride’s family. It is unfortunate that even though we are a country on the path to progess, gender equality is a tough task to achieve.
I don’t completely agree.
I definitely agree that the burden shouldn’t be on the girls family alone.
Frankly, I’d venture out and say it shouldn’t be made a “burden” at all.
But passing sweeping laws and saying how money shouldn’t be spent on lavish weddings is rather olympian isn’t it?
What gives us the right to judge that marriages must be simple because it is financially prudent?
Lavish is a relative term, what maybe lavish for me is probably not even the bare minimum for Lakshmi Mittal.
Further do we always do things that are financially prudent? Do you ?
When was the last time you bought something you desperately wanted but it was stretching your budget? YOu know, the better car, the more expensive camera, the watch, the earrings your wife/girlfriend had her eyes on and more.
Decisions like wedding, homes etc are more emotional and not everything can have a value associated with it.
So to each his/her own.
Personally, the couple should ensure that whatever they spend, it is not a burden on their families. Why should my parents bear the “brunt” of my wedding? why should her parents?
The couple should get married when THEY can afford to, not when their parents can.
I agree that weddings should not be so expensive.It should be a one day affair. For that we all will have to make efforts.ofcorse exchange of gifts should be stopped.